Hello, last week, I started to wright a story, I have written chapter 1 and 2, but today I am going to wright the first chapter onto this blog. hope you like it!
Ashleys diary, chapter 1
Hi, my name is Ashley and right now, I am sitting in the middle of my two annoying little brothers, my dad driving us to a surprise place. I don't like the way we are going though, cause it looks like we are heading straight for ice rink mountain!
It is called that cause the mountain has lots of ice capped ponds that you can skate on. I have never ice skated before so I am super worried when we get there. I guessed right!
We park up in the first row since no one else had, and I think I know why (avalanches and stuff) we get our skates and start going up the mountain. We eventually come upon 4 frozen ponds, all in a line. Since there where 4 of us and 4 of the ponds, there was one each. I chose the one at the end. I do not know why, but I started to get suuuuuuuuper scared, my mum died*
when I was a kid and after she died my dad re-named me after her. She had a lot of tragedies when she was a kid, so I wonder if that got passed down to me? We will find out soon I guess!
So, I was skating and it was pretty hard and I kept falling over. My brothers go to ice skating lessons, so they knew what to do. At first for me though, dad had to help me, but after a while I started getting the hang of it. Then, we all started competing against each other, seeing who could do the best twirls and flips and so much more! We even got off the rink once to see who could do the best snow sculptur! I won that one! It was soooooooooooo fun!
Then we realized it was getting late, the ponds where quite big so it took a while to get to where we left our stuff, I was super happy!!!!!!! I was nearly at the end, when the ice started to crack....
my dad re-married and my step mum had two boys than she died too
hope you liked the first chapter, check in tomorrow to check out the second chapter!
see ya later! Niamh
Hi Niamh!
ReplyDeleteI LOOOOVE it!
I'm doing a similar thing. So please check it out.
I love how she becomes reeealy good at skating.
Bye, Franny
thank you Franny, I have to admit, it is a bit weird that she ends up being great at it in just a few mins.
Deletethank you for your comment!
Niamh🦄
I really like the setting you chose ( it sounds very cold!). Well done Niamh.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletethank you mrs Haines, yes, the setting is super cold! but it'll get warmer!
DeleteI am super proud of chapter 1 of my story.
thank you for your comment,
Niamh🦄
Kia ora, Niamh. I am really looking forward to reading your second chapter, you have me hooked! I am curious to find out why there have been two unfortunate deaths (Ashley's mother and step mother). I also love that you have left your audience wondering at the end about the ice beginning to crack. A great draw card to entice your readers back.
ReplyDeleteHelpful hint: cause should be because, and remember to reread your work aloud to yourself as you hear where words or suffixes (word endings) may be missing.
hello Sarah, thank you for the hint, will do and appreciate it a lot! sorry, was supposed to post the second chapter yesterday! will do tomorrow!
Deletethank you for the comment!
bye,
Niamh🦄
Hi Niamh,
ReplyDeleteI am 100% going to be following you book! chapter 2 is already there but I am about to read it! please keep writting her diary because I can't wait to read the next chapter (I am about to)
blog you later,
DeleteLila